Leap

(This was something random I wrote in sec 4, the day before SS prelims. The thoughts are rather scattered though.)

The unbearable pain continued to linger in my mind. What was causing it? The stress? Or could it be just the pain God had inflicted on me in the purpose of bringing matters to light? Today, my spiritual weaknesses had exposed itself spontaneously once again. Faith in the Lord was all it matters. Trust in him and humble yourselves unto Him and you shall receive great rewards in Heaven.

Something sparked me significantly in church today. Uncle Joseph shared on how we must request with the right will and not out of selfish ambition and pride. Whenever I will myself to pray for wisdom, (sadly in my own wishful thinking), I pretend to do it wholeheartedly to please God. But the grave mistake there is that ultimately, my purpose was merely to receive great rewards, eg to do well for prelims.

***
Dear God, I ask for your forgiveness again. Thank you for strengthening me and being with me in my darkest moments. Help me to grow faith in you, putting my whole trust in you to please you and glorify you. Thank you for leading me to a tunnel with light and not into a cave of darkness.

***
In perfect timing, the doorbell rang twice. Its tingling sound was alike an angel, ascending down with God’s grace, forgiving me. For this, I have to rejoice once more. In the midst of tribulations and hardships, rejoicing in the Lord helps one understand God’s purpose of putting you through all these.

On the subject of rejoicing, surprisingly, a kind gentleman clad in a seedy suit and tie was the visitor outside the house. Apparently, little did I expect that this was a blessing in itself.

My mother’s voice interrupted my thoughts.

“Girl” she called out in an elated voice, though I could tell she was still peeved at the fact that I refused to bathe.

With rapt attention, I propelled my body upwards, giving her my undivided attention. She said, “ Did you leave your wallet in the taxi, just now?” (Back then, we didn’t have a car, and taxis were the next convenient mode of transport considering the numbers in our family) “The comfort driver was so nice and came here personally to return it to you.”

At once, I made a silent prayer, thanking God for this blessing. My mind which was initially in wild chaos (as you can see), now became unruffled, unperturbed.

So then, in eager exuberance, I continued in serious pursuit redirecting my thought to the boring spiel of social studies in front of me.

Amazing! As incredulous as it may seem, the existing pain left me but was replaced with His almighty grace.