Hi there! It's the new year. Like most new years, unbeknown to many, I have a few new year resolutions. One of which is to try my best as often as I can to document my relationship with God, the things I've learnt through the glimpses of my life and write about how He is working in my life.
2010 was a great year for me. Although I was really busy with many activities- school work, cgling, keeping up with friends, spending more time reading His word and reflecting, I really thank God for all these blessings. Though things may not go as well as planned, I'm learning to trust in His timing and the plans He has for me.
The greatest and most recent lesson I thank God for is summed up below:
"Let us not lose sight of what is truly important.
Let us hope in the Lord who is immutable and have faith in the one who holds the future.
Let our joy not be quell because of outcomes, but continue to exist because of all that God is for us."
It was difficult finding joy in learning subjects in my course, of which I do not exactly have a passion for. But over this course of this semester, I'm really glad to have bros and sisters to remind me that our hope and joy should not be placed on results (outcomes), but on the process of learning because it is simply just a privilege from God to be able to study, learn new things and discover Him more each day ;)
This new year marks many new commitments. Academically, I would be doing my final two core modules (also the most difficult modules in this 3-year course) along with my final two electives. It would be my final semester spent with c-f, a community which allowed me to challenge myself, grow in spiritually and one which I have in turn grown to care for. Though I would want to make the best out of my final semester and a typical me would wish to do more things in this school (so as to 'live out' my last university days), I know I must learn to have self-control, and rely on God more to know which things are in my season. Otherwise, with too many things on my plate, I would probably end up failing. I'm not sure if I'm going to continue to co-lead with doghead in this cg, because I really hope that others would step up to serve with her. Taking on a less active role would also mean that doghead can learn to take on a higher responsibility as a leader in this cg. :) I really hope that these freshies/seniors can experience God working in them when serving as a cgl/faciliting in the future. :D In church, I have agreed to teach Sunday School Junior Section with another older sister (one whom I used to call 'Aunty' in Junior camp back when I was in pri 3). This was a decision which was extremely hard to make. Having been so used to working with youths in school, I know it would be a challenge working with kids as young as 7-8 years old. It always has been a prayer in my heart for a long time to be able to serve in an area in church that's more relational compared to the other areas of service I have been exposed to, so that I can bring back and use whatever I've learnt from C-F the past few years to other bros and sisters in Christ in church. I felt that a new environment or area of service was needed in my church life. Our deacon told us that there are no enough teachers and my sunday school teacher also encouraged me to serve there. Thankfully, he presented this opportunity and somehow strangely I wonder how they knew I love to interact with kids. Must have been God's amazing ways again. I would also want to be humbled by these younger ones and learn from their child-like faith in Him. As I begin to start work after graduation in July/Aug at EY, it's going to be an increasing uphill challenge for me to spend quality time with my family, my friends and in service. Who knows how long I'd last there anyway? :)
In today's message, bro B. shared about how everyone is in need of a new beginning, some point in our lives. There are three characters in the bible who was in need of this 'new beginning.' (Of course, there are more haha.)
First, there was Nicodemus. He was a Pharisee. Before we start thinking about all the negative connotations and entrench our negative perceptions of Pharisees, the story of Nicodemus presents us a positive understanding of the Pharisees. Despite the Pharisees' hypocrisy, they were by and large pious people during those days, upright in their own personal walk with God and was much more well-versed in the old testament compared to an average person today. I guess we can believe that Nicodemus displayed such a characteristic of a Pharisee. He was a member of the Jewish Sanhedrin Council, which was the one of the highest ruling body for the Jews and was also a "Rabbi", a term Jesus revered him to, to acknowledge somebody of great authority and position. Yet above all, there was some spiritual emptiness in his heart.
Probably ashamed of being seen by others if he came to Jesus in the day, he came to Jesus in the night. But when he came to Jesus, Jesus was really straight forward with him and said to him, "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again." Jesus knew of Nicodemus's needs and desires and addressed Him directly. After that dialogue with Jesus, notably in the bible we see Nicodemus's new life. He became one of Jesus's close followers, and was one of the men who made a request for Jesus to be buried after His death on the cross.
Have we, like Nicodemus come to some point in our lives where we encounter a 'mid-life crisis' or some form or crisis, resulting in spiritual emptiness? Have you ever questioned how you want to continue living your life, what are you living for and how you want to spent eternity? I guess listening to his message, the thing that struck me the most was how everyone needs a new beginning, now or some point in their life. In the dawning of the new year, I hope I can continue to walk closely with God, rededicate my life to Him for yet another year and remember His goodness and promise.
Another bible character who experienced a new beginning was Zachaeus. He was this short, little man but a chief tax collector. In those days during the Roman rule, tax collectors were despised by the Jews because they worked with Roman rulers, collected windfall amounts of taxes by overtaxing the Jews as part of their work for the Romans, the oppressors of Jews. Zachaeus might have had a 'rich' occupation, but by virtue of his detestable occupation during that time, he might have actually been a very unhappy person. One day, Jesus saw him from the tree and said, 'Come down Zachaeus. I want to go to your house for tea." Jesus saw something precious in Zachaeus. He might have fallen but he was still a child of God, created in God's image.
There were two dying thieves who were hung next to Jesus at the cross. One was defiant, refused to repent and even challenged Jesus, asking Him to get down the cross and save them if He was truly the saviour. The other thief, was sorrowful and wanted to repent, asking Jesus to remember him because he wanted to be in God's Kingdom. Perhaps what struck me was Jesus reply to Him, "Today, you shall be with me in paradise." It was a promise given to a sinner, someone so fallen like that dying thief, yet because the latter was willing to repent and be saved, Jesus offered Him a place in His Kingdom. Then there were questions I had in my head, "Is this in line with what we know of His kingdom being here but not yet? How do we reconcile the fact that there are many parables in the gospel which talk about how one can enter the Kingdom of God, yet Jesus seems to be also suggesting through many examples, not by laws, where one's simple faith can save him. If it is already here now (as shown in Luke 4), then how does it change the way we teach sunday school children. I happen to believe that though contextualised, all these illustrations in the bible should be studied together and not separately, otherwise it may seem mutually exclusive with one another. Or is it?
Then again, questions aside, there are still valuable and wonderful lessons learnt from these people in the Bible. In the recent commonwealth Olympics in Delhi, ang peng siong was supposed to register for the Singapore Team. He tried to explain to the officials that it was Singapore's first time representing, and he was caught in a traffic jam, but they didn't accept that. As a result, he faced public scrutiny and dashed the hopes and dreams of the young athletes in his team. In life, it seems to be too late. We regret studying only at the last minute for a paper, and did not score well because it was too late. But in God's Kingdom, it is never too late. Just minutes before one's death, regardless of how unworthy or sinful we may be, or regardless of not knowing much about God yet, as long as one has a repentant heart and has this simple faith and desire to know Him more and accept Him as his saviour, he can enter His Kingdom. Does it mean reigning with God in revelations in the millennium years, having a place in eternity? I'm not really sure about the millennium years part, because I have not been studying revelations for a while, but 'a place in eternity' is more likely I believe.
(The Samaritan woman was also another one who was fallen. Despite the many husbands she had, Jesus still accepted her and took away the penalty of her sin.)
What has 2010 been like for me? Today, I'm reminded that even though I think I have not honoured God in some things I have done, but its nice to know that through the newness of life He offers, His cross can take away my sin and is more willing to welcome me, or anyone back again. That is, if I am willing to place whatever sin or burdens I have at the feet of Jesus and 'dying again' at the cross.
-----------------------------side track------------------------------------------------------
Hmm, I have a freshie who is actually experiencing spiritual dryness right now. After a short chat with him on msn, I realise how sometimes cgls or leaders do not really pay attention to the personal spiritual growth of our members. It started to make me think that being too zealous about ministry work and outreach activities can shortchange on another often neglected aspect of cg 'that of PERSONAl, probably one-one or a few to one, accountability..' for the lack of better words to say.
I'm actually quite humbled by this. I don't want to give up praying for this freshie, and I hope I don't. I also need the courage to talk to him about this face-face and ask God for wisdom for the words to use which he can better relate too. :(
Things I need to remember to read: Parable of theLost Sheep study, Micah and Malachi.
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