B-side

Post-Prelim Blues

Here it goes again. Little has changed much since I took the hiatus anyway, but still, life’s going on a little bit differently this time. With three arduous weeks of preparations for the prelims, I guess our minds and bodies are still halfheartedly stuck in the studious momentum, and most of us would find it a waste to start from square one again should we decide to fall behind that momentum. But the temptation to let loose just for a few days is practically crying back at us, and we tell ourselves, “surely it can’t hurt to play till the weekend, can it?”

Looking back at the prelims is nothing different than looking back at any other exams I’ve gone through in my life. At the end of it, there’s always this tinge of regret for not studying hard enough, for not listening to my parents for sleeping late, or for giving up on myself. The only difference is that over the years, the extent of this regret is waning off the shoulders. But yet that’s nothing to be proud of- any regret is still a regret.

The only discount I can give myself for celebrating is probably the fact that I’ve managed to survive these grueling past weeks, despite the constant urge to just give up- this was especially felt when preparing for the last few papers of each subject. Fortunately, I was able to have close friends who would listen to my phone calls whenever I felt stressed, sick of studying or bored, as well as God’s grace for pushing me forward and reminding of the goals I should aim to achieve.