sadness

Its so strange. I always come back to this place whenever I feel down or stressed. My blog entries are usually posted in the wee hours of the night too.

I feel consumed by the number of activities I have to go and want to do. Being a cgl, it feels like an added responsbility to be present for all the meetings, especially because you are the one who organised it in the first place.

God, you know that time is not at my side. There are so many things I want to do, responsiblities you have given me, and yet it is hard to find the time to finish my work unless I compromise with my sleep. When this happens, I feel weak because I lose my interest in studying dry topics such as tax and accounting. Even with a seemingly enjoyable elective, I felt really restless and tired during choir today.

Where is my joy? Yes, another forlorn and somber entry once again. But Lord, I thank you for the friends I have. I know I'm not alone in this because the people around me are facing it as well. Help me to remove all these self-depreciating thoughts which I have inside. Although I may not show it on the outside, and nobody knows about the struggles I have in managing my time and activities, you know my struggle.

Oh well, time to face to music. Tax presentation tmr, first thing in the morning. Coming home late at night again and the cycle repeats itself. I wish I could go back time and be a kid again.